How Will I Know If My Student Is Struggling Academically?
(…and other questions that keep you up at night while they sleep through their 8 a.m.)
You sent them off to college with a color-coded checklist, five different chargers, and your emotional stability barely holding on with duct tape and caffeine.
And now, days… weeks… possibly a full moon cycle have passed, and you haven’t received:
- A progress report
- A midterm update
- A pigeon with a scroll that says “They’re thriving!”
And you’re wondering: If my child tanks their GPA in a forest of lecture halls and no one tells me… did it really happen?
Let’s talk about how (and if) you’ll know your student is struggling in college. Buckle up — this is a journey through FERPA, faith, and the fine art of not texting “How’s your GPA today??” every Tuesday.
First, the Bad News: There Are No Gold Stars Coming in the Mail
Remember high school?
Where you got regular progress reports, automated calls, and passive-aggressive comments on report cards like “Needs to apply self more consistently”?
Yeah. That ship has sailed.
Welcome to college, where your child is now legally considered an adult – and their academic records are protected under a magical force field known as FERPA (or as I like to call it: Forget Ever Receiving Parental Alerts).
Unless your student has filled out a FERPA release (spoiler: most don’t), the college can’t tell you squat. Not their grades. Not if they’re attending class. Not even if they’re majoring in interpretive dance now.
But How Will I Know If They’re Struggling?
Well…
You might not.
Not right away, at least.
This is the thrilling part of parenting an adult: you’re no longer the manager. You’re now the emotional investor – with zero boardroom access.
You’ll have to rely on:
- Vibes
- Subtext in their texts (“It’s fine” = potential academic dumpster fire)
- The occasional “I bombed that exam” message sandwiched between two memes and a cash request
You may even consider hiring a private investigator disguised as a pizza guy. (Please don’t.)
So What Can You Do?
Step 1: Encourage Communication Without Becoming a Grade-Hungry Gremlin
Instead of asking, “Are you failing?”
Try: “How’s the class going so far?”
Or: “Have you had any exams yet? Did anything surprise you?”
Use your gentle Jedi voice – not the “WHY IS THERE A D IN CALCULUS” voice. Trust me.
Step 2: Plant Seeds, Not GPS Trackers
Remind your student (calmly, repeatedly, possibly via care package sticky note) that:
- Professors have office hours
- Tutors exist and aren’t just mythical unicorns
- The writing center is not just for English majors having a meltdown
In short: there is help. But they have to ask for it.
Which, to be fair, is kind of like handing a cat a map and saying “figure it out,” but hey — it’s all part of the growth.
Step 3: Reassure Yourself That Silence ≠ Academic Doom
If your kid hasn’t mentioned grades, it could mean they’re floundering.
Or…
It could mean:
- They’re managing just fine
- They’re waiting for midterms to pass
- They forgot they even have a school email account
- They are a perfectly normal 18-year-old who prioritizes instant noodles over grade notifications
No news is not always bad news – sometimes it’s just a very Gen Z version of “I’m doing okay.”
Deep Breath: The System Isn’t Broken – It’s Just Grown-Up
This setup isn’t to shut you out – it’s to teach them to step up.
College is where students learn to advocate for themselves.
To ask questions.
To admit when they need help.
To figure out how to fail, and then recover.
That’s the real education. (Also, maybe econ.)
Will you get an email if your kid’s failing?
Nope.
Will there be a magical alert when they miss a quiz?
No sir.
Should you refresh the campus portal like it’s the stock market?
Tempting, but resist.
What you can do is stay calm, stay curious, and keep the lines of communication open — with a dash of humor, a heap of patience, and possibly a reminder that tutoring exists for a reason.
And hey – if you’re desperate for reassurance, just remember: most of us survived college without a parent dashboard or a motivational spreadsheet.
(Also, your kid definitely knows you’d like one. That’s why they’re not giving you access.)